Mmm... dairy... Hurrah! A reason to celebrate at last, in the shape of small capsules of enzymes. Lactase to be precise. Now, you may wonder why I should be so excited, but I shall spare the gory details and merely say that I am at the whim and mercy when eating of an intolerance to lactose, the sugar found in milk products. But now, these magic pills will save embarrassment and discomfort, just popping one or two before indulging in the lactations of the bovine species I shall be fine and dandy.

In a full scientific testing of the pills, Mareike and I headed to Starbucks to spend our student loans on banana caramel creme with extra whipped cream frappaccinos. Yum. And, guess what, no evil machinations of the gut followed! I couldn't quite believe it. Luuurvely.



Also in life-changing news (being able to eat dairy healthily again is life-changing), I did some exercise for once, and went swimming. The swimming was really good, it blew out the cobwebs and I'm feeling the benefit of it. One slightly humorous encounter happened while pausing to discuss my shoddy stroke with Mareike at the end of the lane. Now, fair enough, we were stopped in a lap lane and could've been politely asked if we could move to one side or something, but we certainly did not expect the sibilant hissy fit from a grumpy gay. No, we weren't talking about our "holidays in the Carribbean or what sandwich [we] had for lunch in the café", and the fact that "oh, now I've lost count of my laps" was meant to make us feel guilty just wanted to make me laugh. How ridiculous! It was a busy time in a public pool; it was not only his lane.

Swimming continued with more evil stares, huffs and tuts at various points, so when another lane became free, we took the chance and Mareike and I swam in that one instead. Then, unbelievably, the twit followed us over shortly after! There were two other people in 'his' lane, so why he moved to ours is nobody's guess. Then, he made the oh-so-discreet gesture of reaching over to the lane placard, taking a look and placing it back. After he swam off with his float, I took a peek too at the sign. "Fast Lane". And he has a float? The cheek! Ridiculous gay that he was.
Ecoutez: VHS or Beta - Alive Posted: 03-05-06 17:45 :: Permalink: http://ben.corale.co.uk/archive/v1/226.html


Comments Use the form at the bottom to post your comments. Here is the feedback:

Richard writes I've been doing some swimming too recently - it does really help with general wellbeing and sleep. I also agree; there should be a Gay Lane.
Planning to come to Manchester again soon? Commented: 03-05-06 19:04

The blog author writes Gah! Sodding spambots floating around on the web. I've implemented this excting experimental thing to see if it will counteract it.

A trip to Manchester would be great! Probably not until after exams tho... will email... Commented: 06-05-06 19:17

mareike writes Ben has now started developing OCD. He is obsessed with dairy products and constantly wants to eat ice-cream... Commented: 07-05-06 10:34

The blog author writes DAAAAAIIIRRRRRYYYYY .... moooooooooo! Commented: 07-05-06 11:15

Wolfie writes Mareike, it's important that you understand that it is your responsibility to keep Ben slim and attractive. If all this ice cream makes him fat, all his gay friends will dessert him (dessert him, geddit?!?!). Commented: 07-05-06 18:38

Anne writes Damn it Ben, it's not fair, I come looking on the web for someone who also has to eat silly food and then find you've been cured (Actually this is really good I'm just moaning) meanwhile i have developed a rather sacry peanut or prawn allergy (they don't know which yet) which is great fun especially if u like hospitals

Talk soon

Commented: 09-05-06 13:59

mareike writes Wolfie: you are right. He is now actually 40 stone and welded to the sofa. Commented: 25-05-06 14:41