This is a security announcement This train has been halted at this station to deal with a security issue. An unattended bag has been found and is being dealt with.

And the unattended bag? A bag of sweets. And it wasn't the chewy centre stopping an entire train for fifteen minutes, but the lunacy of these days of insecurity. It all turned out to be a harmless, dotty old man on the train, who, after receiving a rather generous payload of sweets and coffee from his doting niece ("She gave me so much Douwe Egberts! I don't know what to do with it all!) decided to offload some of it in bags distributed about the train. The conductors did not look happy, there are procedures to be followed for unattended packages.

What would be a lovely twist to the story would be the niece having the large quantity of coffee and sweets to get rid of as part of some knock-off, fell out of a lorry, criminal, drug-trafficking, prostitution-ring, terrorist-cell activity.

Gosh. It seems my imagination and cynicism have become puréed into an interesting blend (strong and smooth, with a rich aroma of Kenya's finest coffee beans).

Personally, I blame bureaucracy. CUSU, the student union here, is just riddled with inefficiency; it's bloated, poorly run, crippling itself with pointless campaigns: it's losing the plot. At the last open meeting, just one, one motion out of 19 was to affect the student body in some form. The rest were debating the function of CUSU, examining the minutae of it's very being, like an egotistical philosophr on a bad acid trip. "Whoaaaaa this is like so important! We have to discuss the wording of this piece of legislation! And have you seen the colour of the walls in here... let's decorate. We need a motion, motions everyone! This pamphlet is so interesting. And have you seen my staff? Do I need them all? For me? Yes! Let's have more. I want a committee, all for meeeeeeeeeee....".

Stay tuned for more delights of student politicking. Posted: 30-01-06 20:10 :: Permalink: http://ben.corale.co.uk/archive/v1/218.html

Comments Use the form at the bottom to post your comments. Here is the feedback:

Wolfie writes The problem with being at Cambridge -- is this merely confined to Cambridge? -- is that one tends to believe that one (and all that one does) is at the CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE.

Such egotism, such narcissism, is -- OF COURSE -- entirely unknown to you, dear, sweet, Benjamin.

You are an island of purity, sanity and beauty, in a turbulent ocean of vanity. I salute your indefatigability.

I suspect -- I may be wrong (though, as a Magister in Artibus of the Universitatae Cantabrigia, I doubt it) -- that not ALL CONTENT of THIS WEBSITE is copyright 2005 Ben Buxton. For such counsel, no fee will be levied.

Yes, I've been drinking. How did you know? Commented: 31-01-06 00:31

The blog author writes I guess "(unless specified otherwise)" includes all the stuff that isn't :) Commented: 31-01-06 14:28

Richard writes Ben, can I be some sort of underling to you in your new office? I'm pretty good at shouting at people and making coffee.
You STILL haven't changed my link on this thing as well. Commented: 01-02-06 01:31

Wolfie writes "some sort of underling to you"

Which of us wouldn't want that position? Commented: 01-02-06 15:45

Wolfie writes *Tsks self* Commented: 01-02-06 15:45

The blog author writes Link changed! And I'm not sure that Richard would quite appreciate being my underling in that respect... Commented: 01-02-06 18:30

Richard writes Oooh, you homosexuals and your banter! Commented: 02-02-06 10:33

steven writes entertainment from banned ad at the superbowl
http://www.milkgonewild.com Commented: 04-02-06 12:59