Paaaaahdland, hair and a nice bit of porch Firstly, I’ve gone through the change. I know it may come as a surprise, what with me being so young an’ all, and that it happened in about an hour or so. This afternoon. Yes- I got my hair cut, and it’s the shortest it’s been in about two years. I feel so different, I can’t even recognise my own reflexion*. My brother says I look ‘womanly’. Is that a complement?

*I prefer the use of ‘-xion’ to ‘-ction’ in some cases. It might cause ruxions.



The words and actions of President Bush, the big man over the pond, continue to astound me. In the middle of America’s biggest humanitarian crisis since goodness-knows-when (even Cuba, Iran and Afghanistan are offering aid!), Mr Bush was thoughtful enough to think ahead, offering words of hope to one stricken Gulf Coast resident, Republican Senator Trent Lott:

“The good news is — and it's hard for some to see it now — that out of this chaos is going to come a fantastic Gulf Coast, like it was before. Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house — he's lost his entire house — there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch. [Laughter]”

Senator Lott was unfortunate in losing his 150-year-old house, but can count himself lucky that his other properties were not damaged.

Actually, being astounded is too light an emotion. Horrified? No. Appalled? No. Is Bush a fuckwit of the highest order? Yes. I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like being a citizen in the world’s richest country, and not receiving even the most basic aid and assistance.

Onwards to a lighter topic of conversation, the charms and delights of Poundland, or as the locals call it, paaaaahndland. How much is any item here? A pound you say? Why yes- everything is indeed one pound sterling. The following PhotoStory(™) shows some of the most useful everyday items you can buy (click on the link for the full blog post to see all the pictures). This first picture is a reminder from the management about why the food products are so cheap.
Please note that although you may be poisoned, it's still only a PAAAAAHND, so stop complaining. Please note that although you may be poisoned, it's still only a PAAAAAHND, so stop complaining.

Dom bought this 'ornament' for my room in college. It's beauty astounds me. Plus it looks like it's multi-functional, and not just a pretty objet d'art. Dom bought this 'ornament' for my room in college. It's beauty astounds me. Plus it looks like it's multi-functional, and not just a pretty objet d'art.

Running low on mojo? Give your life some kick and get up to no end of mischief with these handy soft and chewy pocket mojo sweets! In assorted fruit flavours, but don't take all the green ones, y'hear? Running low on mojo? Give your life some kick and get up to no end of mischief with these handy soft and chewy pocket mojo sweets! In assorted fruit flavours, but don't take all the green ones, y'hear?

Too much mojo? Too many mistakes? Erase those BIG mistakes with ease! Too much mojo? Too many mistakes? Erase those BIG mistakes with ease!

Mojo got you in trouble? Wanna find out if that kicking in your belly is more than just last night's dodgy curry? Think you might be a dipstick? Mojo got you in trouble? Wanna find out if that kicking in your belly is more than just last night's dodgy curry? Think you might be a dipstick?

And finally, eradicate all those problems with SONIC BOOM! for all your household needs. And only a paaaaaaaahhhhhhnnnnd. And finally, eradicate all those problems with SONIC BOOM! for all your household needs. And only a paaaaaaaahhhhhhnnnnd.

Posted: 05-09-05 21:34 :: Permalink: http://ben.corale.co.uk/archive/v1/202.html


Comments Use the form at the bottom to post your comments. Here is the feedback:

HumanityCritic writes great post. Just passing through, cool blog by the way.

www.nappydiatribe.blogspot.com Commented: 10-09-05 00:07